i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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