if you like me you must not know who I am
I hate all girls vehemently.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i think im in europe. pls send help
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
