Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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