So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
