video games are the ultimate cock blocker
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize