and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
