It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
