after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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