So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize