When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize