We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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