If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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