Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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