So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
