I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
