Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
