So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
