he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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