i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
