You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize