I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
