Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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