we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
