All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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