New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
