I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
