I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
