Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
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had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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