You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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