yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Shame - the story of my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
