If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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