Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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