yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the raccoons are back...
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