Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
