i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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