Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize