why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
