are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
