Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
