Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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