it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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