Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
