their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
