There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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