Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
