no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
