just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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