he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
barbara walters just said penis...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
