....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I don't think brook has ever known best
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
