You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
