Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
