I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize