Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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