I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
