I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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