So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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