I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
