Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
whose parrot is this?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
