You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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