Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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