You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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