Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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