Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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