Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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